by Frank Castellano (singer/guitarist)

We are one month into winter with, of course, two to go.

Sure, for awhile you were comforted by the high-definition images of even the most loathsome celebrities on your new  flat screen TV. Swaddled in your new huggie, surrounded by comfort food, you laugh hysterically as Regis screams yet another insult as Kelly recounts an inane anecdote involving her too-cute three year old and the child’s unfortunate puppy.

The phone rings. It’s your best friend. “Let’s go out and have a salad and shop for shoes,” she says. You peer out the window. Snowflakes the size of your head are beginning to stand on each other in your driveway. “Nah, I think I’m in for the day,” you say. Crinkling cellophane, the only obstacle between you and the powdered donut that has been yelling your name for the last hour, drowns out your response.

The snuggy is starting to feel a little tight. It now takes you two or three rolls to reach the remote, a device which at this point is looking more like a noose than the laser gun that so empowered you just a few short days ago.

You are now engaging the mailman in long conversations against his will, and getting a little misty-eyed when he leaves, as he is the only human contact you’ve had for a month. You catch yourself reenacting an argument you had with a relative at a Christmas gathering. You’re playing both parts, convincingly.

There’s a voice in your head instructing you to take up arms against the American idol contestants, throw Rachel Ray off of a roof, see how far you can toss your computer monitor… It may be time to leave the house. That’s where I come in.

Jan. 22, I will be resuming my engagement at the Avalon Gardens at 6:00. It’s our tenth annual “wear your ugliest Christmas gift” extravaganza. I can hardly wait. Jan. 24 , I’ll be at Five Points Wine and Bar in Poland starting at 9:00, for those of you who are allowed to stay up late.

These are my first  appearances in ’09 and I’m ready to go, and frankly, dammit, I miss you. There, I said it. I feel so much better already and so will you if you fire up the automobile and join me. I hope to see you there.

It’s only music, I mean no harm.

(Ed. note: this is a typical performance announcement by Castellano, and he’d be glad to add you to his email list. His writing makes you curious about his music, doesn’t it?)